Ready to give up

[blue2010]

I am looking for input please.
Here is the current state of things. My W is away with her sister. Between time away and work schedules we will have almost 10 days that we really will not interact other than phone calls and hello's good bye's how are the kids etc.
In the last couple of weeks my W has really re-engaged herself in the house and the kids. We had a disagreement over finances because I am not going back to how it was done because it causes frequent disagreements.
She does not want to speak of the A at all, she is beginning to have nightmares. She will not tell me about what. She says she has to deal with this her way. She is yet to be open to reading anything from professionals or couples experienced in infidelity recovery.
Her behavior still suggests that there has not been any contact. She called or texted me yesterday before I did her. I am making it a point not to first. I am also not jumping at the phone. She sounds like her old self. It seems the alien has left the building! We have even joked a little here and there and run some errands together to include her asking me to help her with a new vehicle purchase.
So I want transparency as I have mentioned, she still doesn't understand what it means. I want to return to MC. I have the opportunity for a program called Strong Bonds they use the P.R.E.P. process at the end of March but I am not sure if she is willing or if it is to soon. It is labeled marriage enrichment.
The chaplain told me it has helped many couples. I am still going to divorce cares because it is good discussion of all the subjects that are involved in this including forgiveness and reconcilliation. I do not thik my W wants a D now or she would have gone to the courthouse and sorted out the paperwork issue. Its about 45 more days until that filing comes out of the system.

So this is what I have been doing: Engaging in normal conversation because she just wants someone to talk to, I want it to be me. I validate, i confirm I am understanding what she is trying to communicate. I am also standing my ground on finances on things I used to just agree with her on. I have let her know that bottling all this up will not work forever.
I have returned to some of my old good behavior: complimenting her because I still think she is beautiful. Also on her life accomplishments and how she is a good mother becaus she keeps injecting doubt into all those areas. Joking, just with less sarcasm and not with either one of us as the punch line.
I have said several times that despite this rough year I think things can still be good. She continues with saying she is not worth it and everyone would be better off if she just went away.

I am left wondering at times:

Is there deep covert contact with OM?
When will she agree to transparency?
When do I discuss transparency?
I can handle less R/A discussion so why not with a pro marriage councillor 1 time a week ?
Are things like retrouville helpfull or is it to early?
If this M survives how am i going to handle the collateral damage?
On top of this my dad 67 asked what I would do If he left my Mom he's fed up? He already started GAL and says my MOM noticed.
Do I give him DB or DR first?

Sorry so long any feedback is appreciate when i get going it flows.