just so sad

[abbey1989]

Hi,
Don't know where to start. My H and I have been married for going on 22 years. 2 years ago I suspected my H had been having affair with a client of ours. She actually divorced her husband around the same time. Things really did get better once I decided not to focus on what I "thought" was going on with them and instead focused on getting my body and mind in a healthy place. During this time we sent our eldest child off to college and have been preparing our second to leave the nest this coming fall. I also returned to the workforce (still also help with our family business) and I have returned to college to finish my college degree.

H leaves every Saturday a.m. to go bike riding "alone", motorcycle riding "alone", hiking "alone" and the gym "alone". Wanting to trust...it was all I could do not to ask where are you going and where have you been.

Thinking that all of this was behind me, I received a few calls on my cell phone last Thursday from a number I didn't recognize. I was busy at work at the time and finally answered, and it was H on the phone but he was surprised to hear MY voice. He had actually just called me prior from his real cell phone to check in. He ended up hanging up on me from this "mysterious cell phone". I immediately called him back and he didn't answer. Called again...didn't answer. Then he finally called me back from his real cell phone and said he was having trouble with his cell phone and had to borrow someone's phone on the job to talk to me. I literally had just talked to him from his other phone line. That got me thinking and it wwas hard to finish out my day at work. I have long suspected he has had a "secret" cell phone. The kicker is that I didn't check my voicemails until Monday morning. He left a message for his girlfriend by accident on my cell phone. It went something like this...."Hey Babe, I am here at ___ college and parked near the cafeteria." I found this interesting and hurtful because he told me that he was at the jobsite when placing that call to me, then come to find out he was in the parking lot where the girlfriend that I have suspected all along works. Not to mention the school that I now attend! He knows I am upset, but I don't want to actually accuse because that will do no good.

The crazy side of me wantts to hire an investigator to take photos, but then I think...well then what? I know I can't control him or anyone but it just hurts. Thanks for listening.