Well gang I feel much better today but it took all day to get here. Even as my M in the dumpster, how lucky am I to have found such a special group of people. I will count this as one of the small victories of my despair.
After thinking about it all day I decided I would reach out to W. I had some good news for her so I texted her.
M “I have some good news for you, if you can call tonight I will share”
W “K”
About 10 minutes later
W “It will be late I am on my way back from OKC now, bringing my mom back from the Dr. Is that ok?”
M “yeah that’s fine. I’ll be studying”
W “OK”
W “or I can call u now”
M “I am little tied up right now. If u get back too late u can call tomorrow”
W “ugh…….ok”
The good news is we have been in tax debt for a little over 5yrs and this was a source of constant irritation for her. It happened as a result of my business and she has mentioned it several times. Today I called the bank and got a loan to pay it off, I figured it would be better to owe the bank than to owe the IRS. She had suggested it in the past but I wanted out of credit card debt before I took on a new loan.
A few minutes ago she called I told her the news. She thanked me for doing it and we spoke for a little over 2 minutes. She said “it sounds like you are busy so I will let you go” I told her I was fine. Then she said “it’s snowing pretty badly and I can’t see the road very well. Let me go so I get home safe”
That was it. Today I am at peace with myself. I, along with all of you, came here to save my M. As I type this, that seems like an impossibility to me but who knows. I know that I like the person I am becoming and I will NEVER make the same mistakes again. I would love for my W to be a part of the journey but what we want and what we get are two different things.
