I am the exact opposite of W. The source of my happiness is not external. I find mine within.
W is not happy unless she's planning something, looking forward to something, doing something. I on the other hand find contentment in the simple life. What she might call boring, I call contentment. So my goals are already met, be happy, be content, appreciate peace and quiet or solitude.
Externally, my goals are to provide my children the fullest life I can. D17 has aspirations of enjoying her senior year of HS and then college to pursue her passion for art and animation. S12 is only in 6th grade, unsure what he wants, save stability and a secure home.
Only when they are well taken care of and on their way to adulthood will I look at my future with external goals in mind. Really all I want to do is go fishing, enjoy a good cigar and a beer with my close pals.
W was a stay home mom from the time D17 was born until S12 went to kindergarten (1993 - 2005) As soon as she reentered the work force and gained some financial independence she begun to drift toward the woman she is now, as Segar wrote, running against the wind. I guess I've been that wind.
I do take responsibility for my half of the failed M, but I do not think my changes now or in the future would have made much difference. Maybe the sitch would have been delayed some, but W is who she is, and I have let her go. Someday we'll both be in our 60's and not growing old together as I had hoped and dreamed, but there's nothing I can do about that. So I sacrifice what I must for the sake of the youngsters.
Thank you all for keeping up with this.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
