after a little more than a year i am back

[Denver_2010]

Glad to do it. You've done the same for me many times...

and I had a few drinks tonight so was feeling a little frisky

[grr]

booooo to me

my son had a bad night, missing dad

i in turn did not sleep and took it out on my husband this morning

i am setting a small goal for myself today

and that goal is not to contact him again (i am also going to work on my arms)

but i did a horrible thing and compared him to his mom (she left when he was 3)
i apologized right away and tho he was very angry he said he understood

he also said that my habit of saying venomous things has led him to become "disenchanted" with me

i don't spew venom often, but when i do - yikes

anyway i left him, wrote a brief letter of apology (another no no?) and now am sitting feeling empty and feeling like how do i survive the next 5 minutes

"lucy - you really did it this time" -

[Bolt]

do me a huge favor.

I used to spit venom too. (heck, I still want to but found another place to do it instead of in my S face)

It only caused more pain.

Do this. When something bothers you? Wait 24 hours before reacting. Chances are, you won't react anywhere near the same as you would in that instant.

Guess what? Things will turn out better.

Hey! You set a goal! Awesome - now just work your butt (and your arms) off to achieve it.

baby steps, grr, baby steps...

[grr]

boltie bolt
that 24 hour thingy is the advice i love to give most

i cannot fathom why i cannot take it

maybe because it came from me BUT now that is comes from you, perhaps i will be able to

how are things in your world?

i would love to hear some positive stuff

[Bolt]

it's always easier to say than do, though right?

I've gotten into journalling all of my crap. Sometimes I simply cut and paste from these boards directly into it but other times, I don't. Sometimes its pretty troubling

I just wrote a bunch on my sitch - check it out when you have a good 20 minutes

You know what? Try taking it in littler chunks as well. Take an hour at a time - Woohoo!! I accomplished my goal this hour!

Believe it or not, it makes you feel better - that will keep you on the positive train.

Hop aboard! There's plenty of room

[zengypsy]

Bolt - I think you need to start a thread about small goals for every day. You ROCK!

[Redo]

Just FYI: For any of you iphone users out there. I found this really nice free app called "SimpleGoals". I tried it out. Seems pretty good for setting and tracking these daily goals.

[grr]

shhhhh
be very quiet
my h is here at the moment doing homework with s
is this a mistake?
we have dinner together alot
i don't want to stop because i want my s to have family time as much as possible
i don't know
i say be quiet, because after this mornings blow up, i feel sick and don't really want to see him
i am hiding in my bedroom for awhile
god this hurts

[Bolt]

I wish I got this earlier.
Don't hide but don't necessarily try to be around. Act as you normally would.

We're behind you!

[Bolt]

zen-that's a pretty good idea actually! I may just do that