Two weeks is not enough time to become what your W wants. In fact, your entire life could be spent on trying to be what she wants....and still not accomplish it.
After I got M, I would compare my H with my father, our friends, the neighbor, and just about every man I knew. It would make me mad when I read a book that said to accept him for the way he was, b/c I didn't like the way he was. Funny that I didn't have a problem doing that before we M.
Your W needs to mature in relation areas, just as you need to get stronger. You seem to understand the areas you need to strengthen, and that is good b/c you can start to grow.
I think your W wants a man who will stand up to her when she is wrong, and stand up for her above anyone else (including family). Women want to see mental and emotional strong man. That is more important than being physically strong. She might not show that's what she wants, but she really does. That how women are wired.
Women have to respect their H before they can be sexually attracted to them. It sounds as if your W has lost respect for you. We will try to help you build that respect, but it will take longer than two weeks, okay?
With her parents encouraging her to have a H like dear old dad, it may take quite some time for her to realize it is you that she really wants. But for now, you need to leave her alone and just try to help yourself get stronger.
Do not do anything based on if it makes her happy. You do what you believe is right, especially child custody. Always trying to make the W happy is not the magic formula in a MR.
If you have to communicate with her the next two weeks, do not show any neediness and don't try to cling to her even though you want to. It's very important that you not beg her to reconsider her decision. Even if she goes through with the D, there is hope in R if she doesn't M some other man.
BTW, I must have missed something, but it doesn't seem like there was much time involved before getting the D. Are you sure about all the legal ramifications, or are you just taking what she says?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
