I wanted to wait for someone else to weigh in on this before I kept going.
Karma, I am going to take a wild guess here and tell you what I think your W would find extremely sexy and hard to resist based on the way you describe her and describe yourself.
A little bit of me in you!
You need to grab the bull by the horns here and STAND for what you believe. Based on what you wrote I fail to see that your depression is based on an actual diagnosis. Therefore who exactly is your W to give you the options as to how you are going to see your D?
Look DB is about doing the 180's and validating but in your case the 180 includes finding your stones and manning up. I hope you don't take this the wrong way I am only going based on your description and the reaction your W has when you appear to be some hurt wounded animal. She doesn't feel pity. She feels disgust. She wants a MAN not a jelly fish.
Man I say this with all the support in the world because I think you can really take control here and see some big improvements.
Disclaimer: This post was not written by a DB professional and includes several 2x4's!
2Step, I agree with you 100%. I am happy to have B.I.T.S like you give good advice.
Honestly i think what caused our marriage to end is my failure to man up in our relationship. My W talks about my depression and it as a reason to leave this marriage. I always had a bad habit of doing things to please my wife, not knowing if it would be possible for me to do those things. By nature i am lil anxious and panicky person. On the plus side I am always ahead of things that need to get done. Minus side i do look for emotional comfort in my W. During our 11 years she always tried to get me rid of those attributes. I thought that i could. But i kept trying and i kept failing. I guess for 11 years she just kept hoping that i would ultimately change. And then she finally gave up. Sad part is that for 11 years i too kept thinking that I could completely change some my fundamental attributes and become a 'new' man. Somehow in 2010, i kept fearing that i might never change and my W might have to just accept these in me. When we had a conversation last week, she told me that she could never accept me as 'me'. So thats why she had to leave.
I know that i am trying to keep my spirits up by thinking that might be now i will finally change. But i doubt it. But i'll keep fighting to improve myself. I have nothing else to do or lose right now...
Man i should have known about the DB'in 1 year into our marriage
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
