[quote=sparks14 I expect this to be a long road ahead. Patience is a virtue that I typically hold. I just hope it is one my wife is ready for as well.
Sparks,
Right now, please, listen to Mach.
As I said to you before, you and your W are in different places right now.
She is trying to figure herself out right now. She needs to do that before she can really work on figuring out the M or even if she wants to figure out the M.
Go, listen, validate, have patience, and don't worry about whether your W has patience or not.
Given the room, she will come to her choices in her time.
And hopefully, your patience will allow you to be there for her in the end if she decides that is what she wants as well.
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Thanks, cat, Patience is key. I completely agree. I am not going to try and force anything through in this session. As devastating as everything has been, it really only has been a few weeks since this was all brought out. This is only our second couples therapy session since.
Now my wife is a different story. The affair went on for 10 months. She went to her own therapist for six of those months specifically to address her sexuality and how to tell me and her parents. To me, she has had plenty of time to become "unconfused". That is me just rushing to judgment, though. Who knows? This confusion inside her could take years to figure out. I also need to understand that I have no impact on that and will never be able to make that decision for her.
I just hope that this isn't a part of the master plan that the OW created back in September. The dreaded time line that was deviously planned to out me and her husband and live a life forever together. It could be, but I need to believe it is not and give my wife my best and proceed with what she is allowing me to do.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
