Newbie- Very Lost- Not Sure where to start

[tdb68]

Thanks for the response, I definitely still am having trouble trusting her.... Yes, she has been very contrite, where she is has not been a problem, it is just some of her actions.. She has me on a "roller coaster" everyday, and I am in the middle of reading DR, and I try to not ever show her the roller coaster she has me on, but it is obvious to some of the people I work with day to day.. I am not sure how everyone keeps DBing with the ups and downs of day to day.. it is REALLY hard... I just keep telling myself I can get through this and working on myself everyday. When will the anxiety get any better? I guess when things start to look positive??

My biggest problem has always been my anger and being an "absent husband and father". I worked 70 hour weeks right up until I discovered the A, and that is when I realized I needed to change and had a lot to do with what happened. I continue to work on myself on that aspect. But, i got angry once in 18 months since she first walked away, when she "disappeared" at the party, and I am still human, I am going to make a mistake. I just hope it wasn't too much for her to take.