[quote] Let me ask you a question. Why are the two of you in MC if she's decided to leave in June?
I am not sure, I still want to work and I know she is aware of that. I just assume that if she wanted to stop the marriage counseling she would speak up. Is that assumption incorrect?
As far as changes sticking, she has acknowledged that she sees the changes but that she fears that if she says she will try again, then I will revert to my old ways.
I honestly see the changes and how well they have affected and changed my children's view of me. My daughter and I have started taking walks in the evening with the dog. My daughter really seems to be liking the time we spend together.
My son is 13 and really does just enjoy playing XBOX and chatting with his friends on there. So I just talk to him when we are around each other. I am working on trying to build a bond with him ow just as I have with my daughter.
Now for my wife, I am just staying focused and enjoying the calm in our house.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
I just assume that if she wanted to stop the marriage counseling she would speak up. Is that assumption incorrect?
I would think so.
It's good that the family experience positive results from your changes. Your W has legitimate concerns about the changes reverting back to old habits, b/c it is very difficult for adults to stick to big changes after they become comfortable and aren't threatened to change. That's why it has to be for "your" benifit.....and not based on wanting to be with your W. I don't think you are willing to go that route. I'm concerned that you feel that changing would be important if you didn't keep her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I am seeing results between my kids and I. I do want be this way from this point forward. Being happy actually feels good.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Yes it does! Years before the book "Love is a Decision" was published, there was a book "Happiness is a Choice". It took me quite a while to accept that line of thinking, but I finally realized that no matter what may happen in our life...we have the free will to choose how we will respond. Every day is that challenge for some who could otherwise not even get out of bed due to the circumstances around them. That is the message that DBers need to focus on....that no matter what their WS may choose to do, it won't determine the effect or response of the LBS.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
That is the message that DBers need to focus on....that no matter what their WS may choose to do, it won't determine the effect or response of the LBS.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Well we watched a movie together last night and all went well. Went to bed at the same time, no hug kiss or anything as of yet. I am staying optimistic even though nothing has changed between us to this point.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Just got done watching movie, night was very nice so far. Wife is now in the bath
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
well, last night I moved my arm and it touched the comforter and I guess her a little. She rolled over, I asked "sorry did that bother you?" At first she said no then said, "well". I kinda lost it but actually left the room to go cry some... I did not say anything or let her know why I went upstairs. When I came back down she "pretended" to be asleep.
This morning the ride to work was normal.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
