Thanks 2step! I have to say .. it really isn't easy though. I'd rather just be at home snuggled up with my family right now.
Next weekend I will be taking the D and we will be spending the weekend with my parents minus W.
It isn't what I wanted to do ... any of it ... but it is an opportunity. An opportunity to live more of life of my own, so I will take it. That's how I think of it as jiu jitsu ... you throw something at me, and I use it for good.
Hang in there 2step!
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
1Step, WAW is confused. That is one of the biggest things that I have learned since coming here. When my W first left and told me all of the hurtful things that seemed to have so much finality in their tone, I didn't have any reason not to believe what she was saying.
Now, almost 3 months later, I know that she has been more confused than me. And still is. Remember, she will warm up, pull back, then repeat. 1step, 2step, 3step... lets all say PATIENCE!!!
BITS Denver
P.S. Seriously, would one of you guys change your name??
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Ok, Denver. Changing my name to ironMan. Because I relate to the guy in that movie. And, because I have re-discovered my strength.
So, after returning home from my trip ......W is distant again. I see her apartment brochures out in the kitchen. Who knows where she takes this.
I have decided to take a new job. It will be more money, and less travel. I will have to be in the office more than now, but that might not be the worst thing. So, as much as everything in my life is changing and that is scary .... I notice that new and better opportunities continue to present themselves as long as I stay positive, and am willing to go out and get what I want in life.
Anyway, I'm confident and scared at the exact same time about everything right now .... crazy, crazy life.
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
I am planning on going up to my parents' house with the baby this weekend. I didn't invite W. My parents just aren't comfortable being around her right now.
I'm not sure I see any alternative to just going and not inviting W. Am I messing up here? Should I convince my parents to be cool and calm and then let my W come if she wants?
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
The way I see it is if it's your parent's home, then they are to say who can come or not. They apparently have said enough to let you know they aren't comfortable, so you need to respect that.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
The way I see it is if it's your parent's home, then they are to say who can come or not. They apparently have said enough to let you know they aren't comfortable, so you need to respect that.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Not feeling that strong right this second .... feeling like I want to curl up in a ball and cry mommy. lol. Lots of change coming for me. I had a nice convo with W regarding me changing jobs. She was very supportive but said "I'll always be your friend" .... and it got me down. I know she's just confused right now ... and I really had to make a change at work. But, I am feeling a little afraid at the moment. I guess that's natural. I was doing so well and just feeling confident and strong and taking whatever life could throw at me. But once in awhile you feel like you can't take it. You just want to quit, say screw it. But, there's no easy button is there?
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
That feeling where you want to quit - you can turn that around, use it to find your peaceful place again. You have been my idol, man.... so consistent, but I do see that you can get ruffled too.
Just lately I got that feeling too... I wanted to quit, that I am so tired of everything. I just thought that OK, now I will just live my life for myself, and will stop watching H, and will just take life easy. I then started feeling free when H traveled, no longer felt that I was missing him, and also when I traveled, had fun doing my own thing. I just got back today, and felt happy, even when I saw H scowling this morning before he left the house.
And suddenly I realized: I am truly DBing!
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
