Piecing is almost harder than before...

[XYZ]

I wrote this email to W this morning. Not sure if I should send it or not. One the one hand, I feel like I'm baring my soul. On the other, am I pressuring her? Thoughts?


Honey –

I love you with all that I am. I will do anything for you. I will do anything in my control to help you be happy. I will move anywhere, change any job, screw up any amount of cooking, cleaning, and laundry. I will do anything.

However, I cannot not be me: I am in love with you. I love the way your smile is a little crooked. I love the way your teeth look when you show that big smile. I love the way the back of your hair looks like a super hero’s cap flowing behind you when you walk away. I love the bunions on your feet and the bump on your nose. I love the way you twitch all night and steal the covers. I love how you talk to the TV and let it get you all fired up. I love how you treat others, and how you love your family. I love your dedication first to family, second to patients, and last to you. I love it all. You are not perfect, but no one I know is more perfect than you.

I have made terrible mistakes that I now recognize and commit to never recreate. I am mostly, but not solely, responsible and I forgive you for your mistakes. I humbly ask you to do the same for me.

I need you. I need all of you. I need to talk and share with you. I need your support and I need to support you. I need to hold your hand and snuggle in tight and I need to kiss you. I need you to need me too. I need you to know you are safe me with; and that’s on me to help you feel that way.

I want to raise our kids, celebrate a con-validation, party like it’s 1999 at our 50-year anniversary and sit in the old folks home next to you. It is unfair of me to ask and I’ll do it anyway…please hold my hand and join me on this journey.

You know I’m not a Bible-thumper, but I do believe in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7: Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I will wait any amount of time for you to be ready for our journey. All I ask of you to is let me know you want to go on it with me.

I love you.