Rollercoaster of love

[LearningPatience]

A little more journaling while I think of it (really, it's much more fun to read everyone else's sitch than type mine out)

Saturday woke up feeling not too great. Felt like I was coming down with something. Went for a 5k run with running team first thing in the morning (one of my new hobbies). Did some general cleaning around the house getting ready for SB party. One of W previous complaints was that I never helped plan parties and she did all the work (I acted like her hired help). This year, I planned everything out and offered to do all the work. W actually helped a lot during the day. She went out around 4, I didn't ask what she was doing or where she was going. Felt sick around 6, but felt good enough by 7 to go meet up w/friends. Got home around 10, W comes home 10 minutes later.

Sunday had too much to do to be sick. W helped some with the preparations and then took a nap before the game. Had a great time, deep fried a ton of food, W enjoyed the game and party and thanked me for having it and doing so much of the work.

Monday I woke up early (4am) still felt a little sick and also felt down mentally. Couldn't figure out why but just decided to roll with it. Got a call from apartment complex I looked at saying they had more models open. W was having a down day also and felt sick partly due to her ADs (according to her emails). Got home around 5, W was already in her bed. Did more cleaning from the party, watched a little tv and went to bed myself before 8.

Current sitch is that W is depressed and sleeping all the time. When she isn't sleeping, she goes out without me to who knows where (though I'm pretty sure some of it is w/ OM and friends) but that doesn't seem to do anything for her either. Part of me wants to know if I should still get an apartment, part me is a little excited about the prospect but most of me wants to stay put. W and I will have to talk again about this, but I don't want to be the one to bring it up. Yesterday and today are the kinds of days where I need to remind myself to be patient and that everything will work out like it needs to. Still, while W is down I need to be the rock so if I have to fake it for now I will.