I’m going to start at the end of your post, because I think that is what is bothering me most. Why might Thursday be endgame? Is it because your lack of patience is getting the best of you? Or is it because you have decided that you no longer want to be with your W? I have a feeling it is the former. If that is the case, then you need to stop saying these things and sabotaging yourself. Right now, you are doing things for your W in hopes that it will get the reaction you are looking for. Meaning, you have expectations still. Until you are able to stop that, you are going to continue on the roller coaster and you are not always going to make wise decisions. THIS IS NOT THE DENVER I KNOW.
Denver, you speak of unconditional love quite a bit and trying to learn this. Unconditional means exactly that: doing things without the expectation of anything in return – no conditions. However, it doesn’t mean being a doormat. Your W appears to be irresponsible with money. If she was concerned about money, she wouldn’t be hanging out at a bar spending money that she does not have. BUT, and this is a big but, you offered the money. You are there constantly, in fact, to clean up her messes. This isn’t unconditional love either. God loves us unconditionally, but sometimes he forces us to clean up our own messes. He does that for our own good. That is probably what needs to happen for your W right now as she does need to act more responsibly (I don’t want to make you angry for saying that, it’s just the impression I’m getting right now).
Now, with all of that said, I, too, believe there are a lot of positives in your situation. I think that you have an excellent chance of saving this. But you can’t always see this because you are impatient (me too!!!! My worst enemy). I am not bothered as much as others about you initiating the interactions because for the most part she is responding well. But maybe try to wait on her once in awhile. This will help you feel more confident in what you are doing.
