Not Sure Which Way to Go

[downandoutintn]

My posts are very slow to post so I am sorry if I seem like I am not updating.


Most of this is blowing off steam. Right now I don't have anyone to talk to so typing it out at least makes me clear my chest a little bit.

Well here is the latest. I went to get my S tonight. We received a good amount of ice tonight. Where my W is staying is basically right between two really steep hills. I ended up getting stuck on one of the hills.

Any DB-ing I had done is gone now. She started with her same old mess of telling me how I don't know how to drive in the snow and how I don't know how to do this and how I don't know how to do that. Then she called her dad to come help. And then her dad, her uncle, and her cousin showed up to help me out, which is no big deal but then she continued on with what I couldn't do. The same issue that I have had as long as I can remember us. Boy did my feelings of anger, anxiety, and stress came back and after about an hour I couldn't take it no more and the same bickering we always have came back.

Her cousin told me that he had told her that he couldn't believe she treated me like that and that her acting like would have hurt his feelings, to which she replied oh that doesn't hurt his feelings. When in reality it hurts my feelings, my pride, my confidence, and my manhood.

I know we are supposed to keep this about DB-ing but I have let her truly ruin my day. It started early this morning when I fell into the trap. I'm not even going to go through all of it. It started with her asking why I didn't call back last night and then her telling me that it is pretty f-ed up that I am thinking about joining the gym because I wouldn't join with her.

::rant:: I wouldn't join because you would've told me how what I was doing was wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::endofrant::

Today was completely discouraging. I went from feeling like things were starting to turn, to me once again trying to explain myself about how she makes me feel when she attacks like that. Now its back to the same stress that I had when she lived here.

Is there a WAS that turns there spouse into a WAS at the same time? That sums me up right now. After today I almost wonder if she is even worth it.

To add to it all my son fell asleep and he didn't even get to come over.