Cyrena, thank you for your words. Sorry I have been quiet for a while. I find it very difficult to put my feelings into words - I envy some people here on the forum, some of them are so great with it! I think I'm doing o.k. Yes, I believe there is definitely some truth in what you said about caretaking but I'm finding it difficult to ... well, not to BE that way if that makes sense? I've always been the friend people would call with their problems, the person who throws dinner parties (and cooks everything from scratch), the one to lean on etc etc...that's just me. And I think I like it. Most of the time. I need to find out how much of that I will have to change or even want to change! but thank you for giving me food for thought.
I'm doing fine, getting on with things. actually saw H yesterday - we were both invited to the same gig, I knew he was going to be there. I dressed up, took 2 girlfriends, smiled and laughed, said hello to him and a kiss on the cheek and was happy and cheerful throughout the evening. it was a weird experience as I felt he wanted to chat more, I tried to keep conversation short and sweet (and ended them first!), so I think I did ok (did I?). He squeezed my hand once when I walked past him, as if to reach out to me... I let him squeeze it, smiled back at him but walked past. Funny thing was, I decided to leave without saying goodbye to him and as I got home had an email from him asking why I didn't say goodbye and could we meet for a drink some time this week? so here's what I'm planning to do -
- look stunning when we go out - will NOT drink too much (danger of getting emotional) - will NOT talk about US or relationship - will be happy - will listen to what he has to say..... - will try to end the evening first (most difficult part)
am I doing alright with this plan? have I forgotten anything?
I miss him.
nic1 - maybe we could get cyrena to give us some feedback on your question, I'd be interested to hear it too.
