Her talk with you and then running, was typical. It was a bit of a peek out of the tunnel. More often than not, those moments cause us to think that things might be changing. We expect it to be that way the next time we see them. And we get hurt when it doesn't happen. Detatching helps you to see those moments for what they are. Then if she does wake up, you will be able to tell the difference.
So how do we know recognize when they wake up? Because they'll no longer retreat?
I'll take a stab at this for you. Their is a link at the begining of this thread for the final stages. I might suggest reading that for a more in depth explantion. Also re-read the 6 stages of MLC.
In general the first three stages are running away and the last three stages are reconnection. That does not mean the crisis is over when replay ends. It is over at the end of acceptance and no sooner. After the breaking of withdrawal their may be a recommitment to the marraige. They can still leave even during the reconnection phase. The first three stages are hard but the last three are much harder on the LBS. You have to think of the early portion of this as training to be able to complete the journey.
Really you should concentrate on YOU and not worry about where they are. When you take the focus off of the LBS you really set yourself up for failure.
By the time they are done you will know, you will have no doubt. It will be actions not words that will convince you of this.
But for now worry about yourself, YOU are the most important person.
