Our biggest enemy throughout this process is ourselves. Our negative feelings and emotions tend to destroy all we are trying to save.
Why should I give so much to someone who feels so little for me? I ask myself this question all the time. Then I read about the people who have made it or are in the process of making it,Bolt being a good example, and see how much better things are now than they were before and I feel as if the journey is worth the struggle.
There is no magic pill for this but you give out very good advice when you respond to others yet you fail to give yourself any hope.
The optimism for your sitch is based on some sort of time table you have placed on the M, and your hope needs to be more clearly defined.
I hope you make it.
I hope you find peace in yourself.
I hope you don't fail to see the small victories.
I hope you take care of yourself without expecting anything in return from your W, if you do she will not fail to disappoint you.
You can have hope, just don't place any hope on actions that you see out of her at this time.
As I look in the mirror I see standing a man who is lost but now is found (somewhat) my W only knew the previous man and if that is all she saw I can't blame her for not wanting to be with me. This is all she see's right now and until you become that new person that is all she is going to see.
In some cases I don't blame the WAS as much because I understand how they came to this point. I almost understand their journey more than I understand my own.
That is why it is so important to "walk away" from the sitch emotionally and start to take care of self and not worry about whether she came home and said hello or didn't say hello. It's MJ's world right now, and there is only room for one.
Today I am an emotional wreck and believe it or not I see more hope in your sitch than my own. You have a chance to see her, you have a chance to show change. I would give up a testacle for that chance but I will not get one unless I fly to OK or she comes back. My changes will have to be based on phone calls all this while she receives the D papers I sent back last week.
It’s a damn shame; but you my friend have a shot as long you maintain!
