W in long PA with another woman. I'm devastated.

[sparks14]

My primary goal is to tell her parents that even though the affair has happened, I still love their daughter and will do everything in my power to save our marriage. I will never take their grandson away from them. If things end up for the worse, and their daughter finds that her sexual orientations do not include me, I have no intentions of being vindictive or seeking full custody. I in no way want to break communication with them but also understand that my W really needs them right now.

Is this in some way to alienate her ?

Are you thinking if you strike first that they will be on your side of things ?

My wife's defense is that they are her parents. This is problem is between me and my wife. She needs time to patch up her relationship with her parents that she loves dearly. She is very afraid that they will take my side and team with me to change her. Wife just lots of emotions with her parents role in this, and my separation from them is key to her.

Blood is thicker ya know...

If this is a fear for her, it comes from somewhere....

Your words ? Your actions ?

Some old argument you had in the past, when you made a comment out of anger ?

My wife tells me that her and her parents fear that me and my parents will fight for full custody of our son. I want to ensure them that this is far from the case. I want to prevent any idea of two sides acting in fear and making a pour decision due to a lack of communication.

You can't fix this Sparks...you have to be pure in your actions, don't let your words overwrite those actions, and let the chips fall where they may....

At which point do I say enough is enough. I used to be in contact with my in-laws daily. It has now been two weeks. Is my wife telling them the whole story? If not, is this why she fears me contacting them?

Whatever she is saying, shouldn't change your path.

Back away contact for now unless it is related to your child...

Number one thing is that baby....

Let everything else go on the back burner for now....

Mach - I take from your impression of thins that I should respect my wife's wishes and not speak to them at all.

I guess it just completely surprises me that if her parents knew the truth, they would have contacted me right now. I guess that is just the relationship that I have with them. Things just don't add up, and I worry what message is being discussed. I just want to set the correct positive message and let them take from it what they want.

What about an email? Tell them they shouldn't even feel obligated to respond, but I would be happy to simply talk to them.

I understand that my son is the most important piece to this right now. My wife and I are working hard with the co-parenting. I just feel that there have been so many lies from her. I have no idea what to believe. For all I know, she could have avoided all mention of the affair and told them that I hit her and she was seeking divorce. I have no idea. I just want to clear the air and provide some sort of positive communication. I don't wish to alienate my wife from her parents at all.