Welcome aboard. Hope you will post often and reach out to others. That will help to build up your support group.
The first step in DBing is to pull back. It will be natural for you to want to pursue her, but that will actually push her further away. All this contacting you do needs to stop. No more gifts b/c that is seen as pursuing. Let her contact you. Do not use your children as an excuse to contact her. Stick to a visitation schedule and no more emailing, texting, etc. back & forth.
Do not be available for her. Part of detaching is making yourself unavailable whenever she decides she wants to call, text, or have you come over. You need to project yourself as being a man who has a busy life. Always have plans for special events, holidays, and weekends.
You cannot make her realize that you are the best for her. You have no control over what she does or thinks. The more you try to convince her, the more you'll push her away. Accept that fact and don't do it anymore. The only thing that will convince her is your actions......not talk.
Do not try to discuss the MR. This is a biggy! Men think they can fix the W if they can talk about the problem, or get her to read a certain book, or watch a video about M. But it doesn't work.
You have to focus on being the best "you" that you can be, and leave her alone to do whatever she wants. Everytime you chase her, it's like starting over again.
A WAW wants is not attracted to a man who is needy, clingy, begs & cries, shows weak behavior, or pursues. She needs to see a man of strength. She doesn't want a man she can walk on and boss around. She wants one who will stand up to her and show self-respect.
Did you ever get the DR book?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
