I haven't done everything wrong...

[islander]

W came over about 2, stayed for 15 min and just left. She got a couple of documents she needed. We made small talk about fish tank, I asked her to bring back a few things she took that I needed, no R talk at all. She commented she just bought new pans for her apt. She then reaffirmed our lunch for wednesday and left. No PC at all.

If my goal was to act as if I was happy, I failed. I was not moping around, but I was definitely not enthusiastic. W also did not act as if she had the perfect life now either. Maybe just bc we were in the same room. Idk.

She commented on how good the fish tank was looking, and I told her that I have been enjoying taking care of it. I then casually told her that I planned on keeping it (W likes and wanted to take it originally, but I was the one maintaining it. It was a hobby we were supposed to do together, but by default
it became my job).

As soon as she left I felt the tears coming on, but I held them off. My only success today was not talking about the R or OM. I wanted to tell her I loved and missed her so bad. She said she would call me later. If she does, I don't think I will answer.