I got asked a question on a different thread and kinda wanted to answer it here.
It does seem that my sitch's turnaround has happened relatively quickly when the real answer is it hasn't.
I lost my job about 18 months ago. I worked as one of the top dogs on a television series and was "let go" because of another woman's perception of what was going on in the workplace. Absolutely NOTHING happened in the least bit - I'm very outgoing and flirty with EVERYONE (even guys although I am NOT bisexual at all) - I tease everyone and expect it in return.
Anyway, after I was let go, my W wanted out. Things had been hard for her for about 4 years at that point and the firing was the last straw. I enrolled in AA (did the 90 meetings in 90 days) before I realized I wasn't an alcoholic. W and I went to MC, I changed who I was, yadda yadda - I thought things were going great.
Three months ago was where all hell started to come. I got the REAL bomb right before Christmas and have been DBing my butt off since.
So, I guess my sitch went(and is) like this. W - 4 years of unhappiness that I was unaware of. 18 months on top of that of Bolt trying to change. 2 months of solid DBing.
Hope that kinda clears things up.
I do know I have a long way to go for sure.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
bolt, i think most of us who work in tv are very outgoing and flirt with everyone its pretty funny to go to the human recourses harassment meetings every year with a group of comedians...you can well imagine i am so sorry that happened to you BUT so glad your relationship turned around maybe that had to happen for things to start rolling in that direction, you know what i mean? keep us posted on your progress as it is truly inspiring
its SOOO funny you said that! That is exactly what happened in our meeting about it. We had a harassment trainer come in and we are all comedians so it was pretty difficult for her.
I brought up a point though, that I still TO THIS DAY don't understand. I said, "Why is it that I can't go to lunch with my assistant, who is a woman AND that we talk about work without people thinking I'm sleeping with her?" I then continued, "I go out to lunch one on one with men and nobody thinks I'm schtupping them?"
Everyone laughed but I was serious...
It did kinda blackball me a little too. Even though the company was bound by law not to say what happened, I think the rumor mill got running and I've been out ever since. This, right after winning an Emmy...
oh well - You are right though. I think that if that had not happened, I would have never known how selfish I had become and maybe be divorced right now.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Another "attaboy" headed your way, Bolt! Keep it up. Please keep letting us know what is working and not working. Funny you should bring up the eye contact thing. My W visited tonight and I failed to do that. I don't know why. She is still very pretty and I have always loved her face. I will work on that in the future. Thanks!
BITS never walk alone!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
