W in long PA with another woman. I'm devastated.

[sparks14]

W and I have a couples therapy session on Tuesday (our second). One of the primary things that I want to approach is the issue with me contacting her parents.

My in-laws are very close to me. We have spent a ton of time together over the last five years, and I truly believe they love me as a son and the way that I treat their daughter and grandson. They would also be devastated. They are very conservative and would not approve an affair not would I think they would be very supportive of W's views towards women.

Since I exposed the affair, my W has been insistent that I not tell her parents. The day after I exposed to her, she said that she "told her parents everything". She said that they were extremely upset, would not talk to her, and then made the three hour drive down. (Some of this info may be written earlier in this topic).

My primary goal is to tell her parents that even though the affair has happened, I still love their daughter and will do everything in my power to save our marriage. I will never take their grandson away from them. If things end up for the worse, and their daughter finds that her sexual orientations do not include me, I have no intentions of being vindictive or seeking full custody. I in no way want to break communication with them but also understand that my W really needs them right now.

My wife's defense is that they are her parents. This is problem is between me and my wife. She needs time to patch up her relationship with her parents that she loves dearly. She is very afraid that they will take my side and team with me to change her. Wife just lots of emotions with her parents role in this, and my separation from them is key to her.

My wife tells me that her and her parents fear that me and my parents will fight for full custody of our son. I want to ensure them that this is far from the case. I want to prevent any idea of two sides acting in fear and making a pour decision due to a lack of communication.

At which point do I say enough is enough. I used to be in contact with my in-laws daily. It has now been two weeks. Is my wife telling them the whole story? If not, is this why she fears me contacting them?

Could really use your help here.