Shine on you crazy diamond...

[zengypsy]

FOBD:

I resonate with everyone's advice but mostly with Scared in Canada because my first thought after I read your post was, well do you know if she would even attend. Perhaps she would feel too uncomfortable. And if she does attend, it would seem it would make the day uncomfortable for both of you and you certainly want to have a good time at the wedding since it is your brother's wedding.

Does it give you the opp to DB? Not sure if it's the right setting. Also, keep in mind that you don't want people to really have to choose sides. If your soon to be SIL is friendly with your W that's great. The probs in your M have no merit with your soon to be SIL. I actually commend her for that especially it seems others in the family detest her at the moment. I mean I'm sure your soon to be SIL doesn't agree with what she's doing like alot of your fam, but she realizes that she's got to work her own stuff out in her own way.

My BILS and SILS have all decided to maintain their relationship with me which I am very grateful for. It's a hard thing for everyone in the family. The WAS doesn't realize that they aren't just breaking up their own M, but an entire family. By DB, you just showing that your actions are supporting your words and that your W is stuck. I've never asked my SILS/BILS to take sides nor will I ever, but at the end of the day as I keep making healthier choices, my H's bad choices continue to shine thru more clearly. Get what I mean?

I'm starting to ramble as well. Not sure if I was any help. You'll make the right deicision. Just don't lose focus of all you've learned and do things for revenge or spit; it will come to bite you the a$$ especially if you want to save your M.

Good luck!