Nice of your wife to advise you that she was looking at houses! I would cange your approach here and the next time she mentions it, you should offer to help look with her. Tell her you want to ensure that the home and location is appropriate for your daughters.
I was able to get my wife to reconsider divorce as an option once I told her that although I don't want one, if that is what she wants then I will work through it with her. I also told her that if she wants to be with the OM, then go ahead, whatever it takes for her to be happy. My sense is that she has dropped the idea of a divorce and from what I have seen, the EA is dying out.
Once you start agreeing with her, you take away some of her discomfort with you. Maybe this will make her have to start facing the reality of what she is doing if you start moving her down her chosen path.
