My instict tells me that if I have another nice convo with W I am going to bring up visiting for a weekend to see what she says. I will mention it in a very careful way I won't just come out and say it.
I went to the SB party a bunch of my friends were there over 30 people and while I had a nice time I felt empty inside. I am getting off for the night because I am feeling a little down and out right now.
Another note.....one of the guys at the party lost 45K on the game. What a dumb a$$! LOL.
hope you feel better tomorrow 2step i understand that feeling of being alone in a crowd i am not sure about the weekend thing yet i have to think about that one hmmmmmm
I think that mentioning a possible visit is a good idea IF it seems to be the right time. Let your instinct guide you... but not fear.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Maybe next weekend, we can all meet on the roof of the Empire State Building - LOL.
Awwww... 2Step, you really are doing so awesome. But please be careful about asking to visit. Go slooooooowly. I don't know why, but I have a really good feeling about your situation, a really good feeling and I want to make sure that you make the best choices possible!
geez 2 - if your friend had 45K to just blow on a football game, I wished I had known sooner. I take charity! I'm not ashamed - he could've put that towards the zengypsy foundation!
I know the feeling of just going thru the motions sometimes when you are trying to work on GAL. I still feel that way. I mean I certainly enjoy being with my friends, but I miss having my H to come to. All I have is my dog and he gives me this look sometimes like enough already - so tell someone who gives a sh!t!!!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
Thank you. I am glad someone has a good feeling about my sitch because some days I am feeling very confident and other days I think the longer we are apart the more she will see herself just moving on. I will go slowly and will only bring it up if the opportunity presents itself if it does not I will hold back. Seeing all the couples there last night kind of hit a chord with me and I was feeling a little down.
Gypsy,
No sh!t! He was stressing the whole game and when Pitt lost someone threw him a wad of money and he started counting. I asked a buddy of mine “what’s this guy doing” “he is counting to pay his bookie. He just lost 45K on the game” I couldn’t believe it. You know how many DB sessions I can buy with that? Hell I could fly and meet MWD 4 times with that.
I knew yesterday was going to be difficult day for a lot of us. But the thing is, we made it through and we all need to be proud of that. I, of course, was in a drug-induced coma because of an out of control migraine, so it was a bit easier for me
These "feelings" that you are getting about things getting better, we need to pay attention to them. We are reminded up and down to be careful and so we are cautious and therefore unwittingly throw off these standoffish vibes. This can be a very bad thing. We do it for good reasons because we are trying to protect ourselves from further hurt. But, in doing so, we do not allow the good things to happen either. There are times to follow the rules, and there are times to follow our instincts. The rules are for when our instincts are not working well because we are depressed. The instincts are for when we are thinking more clearly and not so overwhelmed by our depression.
As far as her being away for too long... there's no such thing. Besides, October is no where near "too long." Play your game, trust your instincts and keep moving forward. I'm praying for you.
2step - this is the patience part that stinks. You HAVE to stay strong here. You will be there for her WHEN she needs you. This is definitely where the rubber hits the road.
I look at this way. When she gets in contact with you, just listen and keep the comments rather short. If you get the feeling that she's asking a ton, come here and talk to us!
After that, you will know a lot more on whether to start convos with her. I think staying dark right now is the right thing. It's not forever, man. BUT it is important to stay the course.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Thank you both very much. I will stay the course I just came in to the office so time to get busy and occupy my mind wish my heart would catch up.
Patience is not a virtue I possess but if my M is saved it will be a virtue I would have learned. I guess based on her history with me it is only a matter of time before she reaches out to me.
