Less Scared and Less Alone

[FellOnBlackDays]

Lost,
FOBD here. Well, I know that I have tried my best here to bring a positive spin on most things, but I want to dole out some reality here for you so that you can be prepared should this thing follow my own sitch. I am not saying this is going to happen, but I want you to have one example of how this could go so that you can be ready. I don't want to see my buddy all tore up again.

When my W left, she did the same exact thing. On the morning she moved out, we laid in bed together for two hours holding each other and crying. I left so she could pack without me present. She only packed enough stuff to cover the back seat of her car. I was so happy when I saw how little she took. I wasn't worried at all. If you remember from my original post, this was not the first time she had left. In the fall of 09, she moved to her mother's house for 7 weeks before returning home. I thought I was facing the same thing.

For three weeks after she left, we talked every morning and every night. We texted each other every day. Once a week, I would make dinner and she would come over. We would eat dinner holding hands, she would do laundry and we would eventually end up on the couch, spooning, watching TV. She was still wearing her rings.

During week four, something changed. She suddenly refused to come over for dinner. The calls stopped. She suddenly began telling me that if I wanted her to come over again, she would have to be allowed to go dark for two or three days before coming over. Things started to break down. When we would talk, there was no love in her words or eyes. I started to get worried.

During week five, she took her infamous little trip to Canada, told me that I could not talk to her while she was gone and started her EA with OM. When she returned, she was very cold, very distant. She later threw it in my face that she didn't take her wedding rings with her on the trip to Canada. She went to a wedding attending by 300 people and passed herself off as single.

During week six, she dropped the bomb. "We are through. Leave me alone." She said things to me that she would not have said to a murderer sitting on death row. She acknowledged the presence of the OM.

During week seven, she asked to come in the house to get a few things. If you remember, from my post, when I returned home that day, I found the house pretty much void of any of her possessions. She secretly had a moving team in place and she moved out while I was gone. This lead to my six weeks of darkness which went on through Thanksgiving and the Christmas holidays.

OK, what is FOBD's point here? Get ready for this possible pattern! Right now, he is scared and confused. He is already thinking that he is regretting moving out. But once he gets over this, things could turn ugly as you see here from my own situation.

Three weeks ago, my W told me that the day she moved out, she drove to a local city park, stopper her car under a tree and cried for two hours while sitting in the car. She could not find the strength to go put her stuff in the apartment she had rented. But she also went on to inform me that two weeks later, she knew we were finished and that she was never coming back.

Once again, why is FOBD telling me this??? Well, it is to get you ready for one possible way this could end. Remember,DBing does include preparing for the worst while hoping for the best. I can guarantee you that he will continue to contact you often for the next couple of weeks. This is to make himself feel better about his crappy sitch. But, where he will go from there is anyone's guess. Just be ready, sweetheart. I have grown to really enjoy our friendship. And I am not sure this will happen to you. But, not everything I will tell you will be sunshine and kisses all the time. Part of my job as your friend and a fellow BITS is to help you shore up your defenses before you get hit with a sneak attack. Please understand why I am doing this.

I will leave you with this. Despite how badly that went for me, my W and I are talking again. Albeit, it is always about furniture and logistics, but we are talking. So, there is light at the end of the tunnel even if it goes this route.

I hope your father is doing better. I will be pulling for him and you!!!

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD