Well.....that might help. But I agree with Bond, you have no standing to tell her who she can or cannot talk to. He's your husband; you should tell him. But the undercurrent stuff, the "he tells me I'm his everything" part, might eat away at her.
Anyway, back to Retrouvaille. If he wants to heal the marriage, move back home, and get back to regular life, then that's a good pathway to get there. So, whether he books it, or you book it, doesn't matter. You agree to go, one of you books it, you go, you do the Post sessions too. And by that time, everything should be a lot better. You will be talking about it all along the way.
And they will talk to him about not having a third party involved in the relationship before he can attend the weekend.
Ok, I probably should not have contacted the X. But I have told H that I do not want him having any contact with her and he still goes behind my back. So I figured I would go straight to her with it. We were friends for awhile until H said he didn't want me hanging out with her because he felt that she still had feelings for him. Anyways, X wasn't to happy with the inbox from me. We have had a couple more convo's but nothing to major. H is suppose to see her on Monday about a photo album she is doing and she said that if I am not there she will not do it. Guess I will see what happens.
H has been at the house on and off all week. Things have been good up until tonight. He was here and because I have been sick we were just watching movies. Then he says he's hungry and we should go get something for dinner before he leaves. I didn't know he was going out so I asked where he was going. H says out to Roller Derby. H and friend have tickets. Well I was pissed off. I have been bugging him about going there for months and he goes with someone else???? I am definately irritated by this. He said he wouldn't go if I was going to be mad because working on things between us is more important. He ended up going anyways.
The friend he went with is where he has been staying. And he tells me that he doesn't want to cancel because they don't know what is going on with us yet. He doesn't want them to be mad at him. Sounds fishy to me. i asked why on earth would they be mad if they found out you were trying to work things out with your W? I never really did get an answer and I just feel like he is playing games.
So am I over reactting?
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Hey Wanda, just checking in on you to see how you're faring. I was just reading some of my earliest posts and am wondering if you've found the book recommendations and website on porn addiction useful in any way? Then again, you've been having loads on your plate lately.
He has to learn that your marriage isn't an open door that he can come and go as he chooses.
"But I have told H that I do not want him having any contact with her and he still goes behind my back."
Again, this is your H's issue.
Go back to keeping the contact on an as-needed basis. Talk to him about the Retrovaille option. If he wants the M, HE is going to have to do something about it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I am feeling better. H and I had a chat on Sunday about this stuff. He seems willing to go get help for M. I emailed him the info on Retrouvaille. He read it yesterday and seemed interested in going to it. Not sure if it is a show or not.
Thanks you guys for all the advice. I am gonna make it short today because I have to catch up on all your sitches...
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
This is all so wonderful. How are you feeling about the situation? Do you think that you are seeing changes in him that say he is more serious this time?
I've got to tell you that you are just so strong. If my H called me right now to tell me he wanted to come home, I'd jump at the chance. That would be the absolute worst thing to do because I would be in the same situation pretty quickly. You have already recognized this! I am so proud of you!!!
