Someone suggest H is having a MLC....I don't know?

[Queen_of_Swords]

I know how you feel.

Is it his fault you feel that way? Whose feelings are they?
I am going to be upfront with you too.

He is not responsible for my feelings, so I've been told, over and over. That doesn't relieve my tiredness, allieviate my frustration, or bring clarity to my confusion for the length of time I've been living it.

The fact is H left me holding primary responsibility for our family on my head.

Everything up there describes what your H is doing to you.

Your cheeseless tunnel is looking at this as if you are a victim of someone's bad behavior and poor choices.

I don't quite get what you mean here with the reference to a cheeseless tunnel and victimhood.

He's not responding to the change in my behaviour after 3 + weeks. To me, it means it's time to switch things up or change my behaviour again, according to DB. If I'm wrong, I can accept that, but to wait a year or longer for going semi-dark vs black to effect change? I don't believe that's reasonable. How are you going to possibly know it's not just all lovely as far H is concerned after that length of time passes or the new "normal".

You can move on from that but you will still see yourself that way unless you choose differently.

A funny thing happens the longer you endure pain...

you either give up or

You find what you are seeking through the suffering.

Have you found your answer yet?

If I had would I still be posting here?

Is the answer for you that your H treats you badly, and is not giving you what you want right now

... and you are finally ready to tell him to pee up a rope?

I'm getting to the point of telling him exactly that.

There are days I want to seriously shake him and whack him with a two by four, scream, yell and throw things at him too. I never have, I never will.

Are you going to let someone make choices for you?

Because this all your choice. If you are going to suffer don't do it for H. He doesn't give sh!t right now.

Why should you?

How do you percieve he's making choices for me?

I know he doesn't give a sh*t. That's a large part of the problem. As for my choices, they are limited by my concern for the well being of my kids among other concerns that don't pertain to him. He left us, I have children that depend on me. That is, what is.
Are you suggesting I pack their bags and leave them on his doorstep as one of my choices?