Sitting in my house all alone...

[2stepboogie]

Hey Navy,

Just caught up on your sitch, hang tough my D is my biggest weakness but being their rock in these times is the number 1 thing. What is the status of the communication with W right now?

[Navyguy]

2step...very little comms with W so far. Its all been either logistics or very light. She picked me up from the airport and we had a pleasant convo on the ride home and I had a great time playing in the playland @ chick-fil-a with the kids. (with her watching) Just been trying to keep busy with the kids as much as possible. Went tubing up in the mountains today and had a great time. I posted a pic of me and the kids in FB, and SIL that W is staying with commented on how cute it was. Hoping that maybe I have an ally there in saving my family. Tough to be sure from a FB comment though. D5 asked today about when she's going to be back in DC, broke my heart but had to tell her I don't know. She replied "that's what mama said too". So hard to see how this is affecting my kids. Even S2 has been randomly saying how he misses me...I can tell he is confused but just doesn't have the right words to express it. Despite all that, I am being their rock....they deserve nothing but the best. One of W's complaints was that I was selfish....I don't think that there could be a less selfish act than allowing her to keep me away from my kids while she "figures things out". Hopefully she'll realize that someday....

[Navyguy]

S2 having a rough day today...wants his mommy so much. I want to call W and tell her so badly, but trying to resist. Also, trying to figure out how to tell D5 that I'll be going back to our home without her again. I don't have words to express how hard this is right now. How can she do this to them?!?!?!

[zengypsy]

I'm sorry NG that your son is having a tough time. The WAS isn't worred about anyone abut themselves. It's always so hard on the kids. But they need at least 1 strong parent to guide them and that my friend is you.

[Navyguy]

When I got here I told her I'd let her know what we're up to and that she was free to join us. Going to a movie with the kids in about an hour and W said she's going to meet us there. Just going to go have fun.

[Navyguy]

Just got back from the movie. Had a good time, no R talk. My only mistake was asking if she wanted to get ice cream after, she kinda just avoided answering so I didn't push the issue at all. I started to lose it when we were leaving and she was telling the kids goodbye...she just seemed so cold and distant and uncaring that she's tearing apart our family. 2 more days here...I don't think I'm going to contact her at all until she takes me to the airport...can't bear seeing the kids hurt like that again. But Man am I going to be a mess on that plane ride home. Still haven't told the kids that I'm leaving again, and no clue of how I should do that. I think W is hurting just as bad as I am though....I guess that's a semi-good sign, but it's so hard to keep the faith that she's not planning on burning me hard...I hate this roller coaster, but I can't find a way off.

[FellOnBlackDays]

Navy,
Unfortunately, there is NO way off right now. That is the bad news. The good news is that you can do certain things to make sure that you take some of the sting out of this mess. Do what you can to enjoy you time with your children. It might be better to just shelter them from this right now as best as you can. Sounds like your WAS is still in the very early stages. At this point, they can be quite mean and very, very selfish. They are not worried about anyone and anything other than their escape plan. So, you take the initiative. You be the one to take care of the family while you can. Keep DBing her and keep your head up. Yes, that plane ride home is going to be rough, but if you made it through OCS, you can make it through this.

Hang in there, my man. You have to be as strong as you can while she is in the horrible phase. There are better days ahead. You just can't see them right now because there is so much mess in your head.

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD

[2stepboogie]

Navy,

Actually so early on consider it a blessing that there is not too much comms with W, I know you are up there right now visiting but make sure this visit presents you in the best possible light. That will influence the amount of comms you get when you come home.

[Navyguy]

Well, just got back to DC. Had a great time with the kids. Had a talk with W yesterday...well, mostly I talked. Just told her how sorry I was that I wasn't there for her over the years when she needed me most and that I understand why she feels the way she does right now. I told her up front she doesn't need to respond and she didn't. I think she really listened and heard what I was telling her at face value. Goodbye today was as hard as I thought it would be. D5 was sad and then I started crying and so did she. After a hug with D5, W actually looked at me and reached out for a hug. First time that's happened in a couple years. We held it for quite awhile and I just said thanks for everything. Well, back to DBing here from 2000 miles away.

[Navyguy]

Called to tell them I made it back to DC...W said that D5 lost it after I left. Just skype'd with D5 and she seems to be calmed down now. Not sure what affect it had on W...