I read your postings. First, congrats on jumping in here. I had to muster my courage for my first posting, and then the wait for SOMEONE to respond seemed like it took forever. I have been away from the forums for a while, but I can tell you that there is usually more activity during the week. On weekends, everyone is (and should be) out pursing life: what we call "get a life", or GAL activities.
I know today is your anniversary. I hope you are doing ok, I hope you are busy taking care of yourself. Surround yourself with friends if you can. This step was particularly hard for me, since I had neglected friendships in favor of our family. This was a big lesson for me. Learning to reach out to others actually started with me posting here in the forums, and helped me work on my social skills and to nurture the friendships I had neglected.
Do you have the Divorce Remedy book? Have you been reading it? There are very important steps in there that you need to follow. You will need to re-read each chapter several times before moving on to understand. It's a revised book! Divorce Busting was the first one. You'll be better results from the forum if you get serious about understanding the book. I'm asking, because from your few posts, you don't seem to be going in the right directions. You are doing stuff that will just continue to chase her away. Listen to what she said "you are smothering me". she is telling you the truth (this is rare)! You need to stop texting and communicating with her except about the kids.
I have two teenagers, so I think I understand. I craved any interaction with my wife. The more she pulled away, the more I craved it. I now know that I often texted/emailed/called when it was needed, under the pretense of talking about our kids. Trust me, she knows. This kind of manipulation just drives them farther away.
About the gifts, she has already asked you to "move on". I like what you said about following your heart. But try to see it from her point of view. She doesn't want to celebrate your anniversary. Even if she exchanges text with you that are not openly hostile, she may just be being nice to avoid drama. If you haven't given her the gifts yet, I suggest you keep them just in case you reconcile. You know you are honoring her by acknowledging the day, but don't try to force her to do the same.
Tell me about what things you are doing to improve yourself, to find what is truly meaningful in life for you...BESIDES your marriage.
Hang in there!
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
