I am in my normal weekend mode of feeling down right now. I went to church with my D and nephew again today and I thought I was doing well but this feeling of emptiness just grabbed a hold of me and I really missed her. It my family is not complete and that was painfully obvious to me at church.
I've no contact since that exchange and since the convo's we have been having have all been nice and friendly I was going to stay dark for a few days and if she does not reach out then maybe I would reach out to her.
See my W can play the image of the strong woman who is king of the world right now but I know behind the charade there is pain and a fear to appear weak. She might not call or reach out to me if she feels like I am shunning her or that I am moving on without her but then again I don't want her to think I am at her beckon call.
I am a little torn right now on what to do. Today I am going to a SB party and hopefully have a good time.
2, I know the w/e's are tough for you. I'm dealing with my H 1 year anniv today of leaving. I've been keepin gbusy all day, cleaning and am going invited a cousin of mine over to watch the SB.
I think going dark for a few days is fine. You know the deal that the WAS has try to show they are put together - we know the truth. I think you made baby steps this past week and just keep that in mind. Patience - Patience.
You are in my thoughts - enjoy the party and see you this week. You better not bail!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
