please help on what i need to do.

[Redo]

People, I need some help on this issue.
My story is here

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2127431&page=1

My W tells me me that the whole reason she wants the D is so that our daughter should not see my depression.

We were discussing child custody today and my W told me that we have 2 options:

1: W and I get joint custody and i need to see a counselor regularly and my W regular contacts the counselor to check on my progress.

2: W gets sole custody and there will be no requirement on me to see a counselor.

Now I am hoping to reconcile with my W (even if divorce goes through). If i pick option 2, my W might think that i have no interest in taking care of my issues and may not want to reconcile. If i take 1, i hate to be on the court hook for therapy.

I'd like to go counseling but not under court orders. And i'd like my W to know that i am working toward change. Any help here?

Thanks!!