He'll have to make a special effort to speak to me.
And if he doesn't? What does that mean for your kids?
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He gets to live the life of a single, carefree man, and I've got the responsibility and drudgery that he left behind.
There were times I thought this way too ( D's live with me 24/7 and H lives 70 ish miles away. He does not see them during the week and visits one day on the weekend). Now I look a it as I get to have all this time with D's. I get to be there for all the moments (good and bad). Does this mean they won't have a close R with thim? I don't know, that's really up to them. But, all these moments are lost to him. The memories are mine to keep.
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Is it loving to let a situation continue where he's comfortable and I am in acute discomfort?
I so know this one. My H has come into my home for 3 years, once a week to visit (most of the time he and D's spend the day here). Would it be better for me to not have him here? Yes. Would it be better for D's? No. Why? In my case, I think the contact would diminish. Is that my responsibility? No. What I have learned is that it is love that allows me to be ok with this now. Love for D's and even love for H.
Is this some form of denial or false hope? No. It is the way I can live with myself. Knowing that I did the best I could, for everyone, including me.
We all know how hard this is. Ultimately you will have to decide what you can or can't do and what is best for your family. You are not a daycare worker though. You are a Mom, there is nothing more important and more amazing than that.
