If you usually wind up in a confrontation, it would probably be best to step back. While you are doing this though, it would be good for you learn what you are doing that escalates this. You have alot more power than you know.
As you work on acting "as if", you will start to see this.
Don't use your son as a pawn. I have a D that is about his age and I let her choose when to go with H. Mostly now, she chooses to go and do things with him. There was a time when she did not. As much as I possible I stay out of their R with H.
