I hope that I don’t offend you for some of things I am about to say.
I’ve always enjoyed a healthy sex life with my h and don’t really understand women that don’t.
I reread through much of your earlier posts from ’07. You said that your W had an EA with another man. Multiple EA’s. Did they ever turn physical or would you rather not say?
Why would she have an EA? Did she ever say? I don’t mean to sound harsh, but what was the EA providing her that you weren’t? I don’t think he was hanging out with the kids and doing stuff around the house. Those things ARE important though.
Typically an EA that never becomes physical, is to fulfill an emotional need that is not being met. Was that the case for her?
You have said that she is beautiful. Do you tell her that?
Does she see the porn as competition? It’s hard to compete with a perfect 20 year body that has never had kids. What does she say?
All I can tell you is what my husband used to do with me. It filled something that was just for me and made me feel loved, secure and amazing. He is physical touch as well. I am quality time and words of encouragement.
If I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready or whatever and he would walk up behind me, wrap his arms around my waist, gently brush my hair away from my neck and then breathe in deep. He brush a kiss along my neck and say, “you smell amazing and are a sight for sore eyes.” Then he would walk away. It left me wanting more.
I was telling him a story once. I was sitting on the coffee table, indian style and he was on the couch. I talk with my hands, always have. It was a funny story and I was laughing. At one point, I brought my hands together and leaned forward towards him. He reached out and grabbed my hands and said, “do you know what a beautiful creature you are?”
He would say little things like that all the time. I would walk into a room in just jeans and a t-shirt and he would say, “my God, you are just stunning.”
My h is not good about sharing his deepest thoughts with me. He didn’t tell me in long love notes or deep conversations the depth of his love for me.
I didn’t need him to. Those little things always made me feel like he loved me and noticed me.
