You see, my wife posts cute photos of our son on Facebook and I am wondering if it's proper etiquette to "Like" or comment on those photos. They are of my son after all, but I don't want to seem too non-chalant. FYI, my wife recently "Liked" and commented on some pictures I've posted of our son.
I would leave it alone and not comment etc. It's hard to say if she's testing the waters with you by her posting comments etc.
WAS/MLC'ers are unpredicatble with their behavior. Tread with caution.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
Sorry, I should clarify: Based on DB etiquette of showing that your children are important even during separation/divorce, shouldn't I be the bigger person and be appreciative of what my wife is doing with our son, etc? Such is the world (and quandary) of the online social community, because my wife and I have some of the same close friends and family on FB who do and do not know about our situation.
I don't know your sitch but caught the thread title. I started FB because I learned about my H and OW were friends on FB too. It really corked me. So I got an account and friended both of them. Duh. Would you be surprised that neither one of them accepted? LOL
Time has passed, my H is here and in his own way working with me on our R. We are still not FB friends, but we do have about 40 friends in common.
I heard a news piece that said it was better if spouses are NOT FB friends. I agree.
As for liking something on her page to show you are the bigger person, why not tell her you appreciate what she does rather than like it?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Knitt4ed Scarf brings up a very valid point. You know your son is cute and so does your friends and family. You don't need to broadcast it on-line by commenting on photos. Perhpas your W does because she is feeling some level of guilt and this is her way of trying to feel connected.
Ask youself what goal are your trying to achieve if you comment on those photos.
Of course your child is important and should always come first, but it doesn't mean you need to broadcast that over the internet. If you know in your heart you are doing your best under the circumstances that's all that matters. How gives a crap what anyone else thinks. Don't look to others to validate who you are.
IMHO I'd rather use the internet (i.e. FB) as a window and not a billboard.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
I agree with Zen. Everyone that matters knows how you feel about your son. I was trying to do the same thing with my W and found that it did nothing but make feel empty in the end. I think I would avoid it but to each his own. My wife and I decided that we shouldn't be friends on Facebook and she has even switched hers to single. Me on the other hand I just cancelled mine, that way I don't post my feelings on there. Also, my W can't keep up with what I am doing. Just my 2 cents.
Togther 10 yrs Married 2/6/2009 Me-29 W-26 S-5 S-2 Bomb 12/10 Separated 1/11 D filed 2/11
"Just that my boy is so adorable in those pictures...makes me all emotional"
This is apparent by your desire to need to comment. This is a hard time man, no doubt. But you can't lay your hand down and show your cards. You can't be needy, you can't seek approval, you need to be an individual and be strong. I'm not totally up to date on your sitch, but if you guys aren't working on your marriage, I don't think you should be facebook friends with your WAW... Last resort is about letting go, giving space, make them come to you... If you are checking out their page, wondering what they are doing, asking questions about their life, SHE STILL HAS YOU. It's hard to want something that you have wrapped around your finger. You have to detach. A lot of people underestimate telling their walk away that they WILL NOT be friends with their ex if this is how their marriage ends, but I guarantee you this is one of the most powerful factors in getting them back.
My wife was always the voice of our family - she was the one that posted pictures, videos, updates, etc. I did not have an account.
When the separation occur, one of my 180s/GALs was to come out of my shell and make friends or reconnect with people I know. Hence, I started my FB account. And I've made it a point that my updates and comments in FB were not going to be depressing, about our situation, or just sounding like a whinny baby (at least, I hope I'm not). Occasionally I put in motivation quotes, or sayings/Bible verses that mean a lot to personally at a given moment. It's interesting that when I signed up for FB back in November, I entered "separated" under relationship status, and when my wife befriended me, she must've saw that, and I kid you not, she immediately changed hers from "married" to "separated" as well. Don't know if it was an oversight of hers that she forgot to change her status, but I mean, c'mon.
With that said, should I now un-friend her, then? Going dark is one thing, but this is like cutting her out and giving her the message that I don't want anything to do with her.
