You are AWESOME! Thank you for your reply, and thank you for the 6 to 9 month view. No idea if that is accurate, but it certainly puts things into a more manageable perspective.
I have spent a lifetime of looking for quick fixes, so maybe this is something I need to learn as well. To let go and let things happen instead of always trying to control the outcome.
CHAPTER 2: The Woman Without Guile
"We went down on each other, but we never had intercourse." This is what Beckie flat out told me, after she got back from a weekend in Montana.
At the time, we had only had a few conversations on eHarmony, and although we were hitting it off really well as friends, we had yet to meet in person. We had yet to make or infer any kind of commitment.
Now here's the key. For the first time in my life, I realized that I was speaking to a woman able to tell it like it is. A woman without any false pretense or guile. I'm not saying she didn't have her fears and insecurities, I was just blown away by how transparent she was willing to be.
I think that's the moment I was hooked.
Until that point, trusting women had always been a problem for me. The insecurity of being unable to trust my own mother, let alone anybody else, had really wreaked havoc with my life. But suddenly here was a woman I could believe in. A woman I could completely trust, as further reinforced by her steadfast refusal to fake an orgasm when we finally got together.
Ladies take note: That level of self-respect and confidence in yourself is DAZZLING! Do you have any idea how empowering it is for a man to know that he has a woman he can always trust to tell the truth, as opposed to a woman who is faking it? This is why men move mountains. Your devotion to your truth is what commands us to be our best.
So now let me tell you a little more about my lies, and how my insecurities not only affected everything I did with her, but especially the way I saw her. Let me tell you how my insecurities had doomed us from the start, and we'll see where this story leads.
NEXT CHAPTER: The Lie In Whistler
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
