I have done everything wrong....

[Denver_2010]

Well Islander, what I said to my W tonight was probably too much. And even if it wasn't, please remember that my situation is a few steps ahead of where your's is right now.

If I had said those same things to my W at the beginning of December, she would have responded by telling me things like "there is no hope for our M", "you need to move on", "you can't win me back", and then I wouldn't have heard from her AT ALL.

I went almost completely dark from right around December 1 through December 23 and I never initiated any contact during that time. From Dec 23 through about January 22nd, my W began to warm up a little. During that I time I still never initiated contact unless it was about my SS. She began to contact me during that time over little things like how I make my spaghetti sauce or some application on our cell phones. Things that she didn't need to be contacting me about. The point is, I think that she began to miss me a little during that period.

Since January 23rd, things have really thawed. My W and I have started to have actual conversations. Not about R, but just what is going on with each other etc. Friendly conversations. And then last weekend, January 30th, I finally tested the waters to see if she would consider spending a little time with me. I asked her to take SS to see movie together.

Finally, tonight, she's asking me why I'm not initiating R talk or trying to fix things.

So you see the progression here. You have to be patient. I know that it's the hardest thing in the world to do. It hurts like hell when you can't think of anything else but your W and/or your M. I know man. I went through it. I'm still going through it.

Just do things that DB recommends and be PATIENT. Let your situation progress at its own pace. It may happen more quickly than mine, or it may take a lot longer... or it may not happen at all. The point is, is that you can't control it. You can't dictate what is going to happen. All you can control is what you do. Use the time wisely. Work on you. Enjoy life the best that you can. It will get easier. And it will get better. You will be happy again. That much I can promise you.

BITS
Denver