DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support 2

[Bolt]

Thanks Bolt, just in a bad place right now.

My gut tells me there is no chance, and that I'm wasting my time, energy and continuing to have my heart hurt.

I just want this to end...I want my W back and I'm sick of being "alone".

I'm going to keep trying, but these moments are very difficult. I'm not sure how much of the emotional abuse I can take?

I was told that there are two ways to end it. You can serve the papers or she can. One you have a choice. If you want to make it work, really want to keep what you had, then you should be willing to do anything for it. That is a HARD decision to make especially in the place that you are in now.

I went through the same thing, man. When your dream girl who you've been married to for 15 years suddenly says, "I don't love you anymore and don't know if I ever will," it KILLS you. I had to decide if I really wanted to go through the pain and agony knowing she may never come back to me.

It's tough for sure.

BUT

If you do decide to do it - it will be even tougher. You have to do certain things to win her back.

I looked at it at first that I had zero control. I'm a bit of a control freak both at work and at home (not anymore at home) but you get the drift.

When I felt way out of control, I couldn't handle it.

That is until I heard that about the D. It can only go one of two ways. Her serving or me serving. I can control part of that AND I can control what I do around her to make myself better.

That took a ton of pressure off. For once, focus on yourself. Definitely get out there and do the things YOU want to do.

You said somewhere, that you wonder if anyone would be able to love you. I would say, start by picking yourself up and becoming a positive, fun, outgoing person - women of all shapes and sizes find that very attractive (I'm not a chick but I'm guessing here). HOPEFULLY, it will be your wife that finds that attractive in you.

Start with yourself!!!

Glad you keep coming here to vent too. Let it all out here. It helped me a ton.