I have done everything wrong....

[Queen_of_Swords]

I totally understand where you're coming from. See my signature and read my thread. My H up and left us too. My H has been dishonest and disloyal and planned this from a long way back and I had no clue. Friends don't treat each other the way our spouses have treated us, that's true.

Fact is that H and I will always have a relationship of some sort because we share children together.
Right now, for me he's in the outermost ring of friendship, and unless things on his end change, that's likely to remain that way. It gives us a place to start over though, a place to build from.

Do I trust him? No.
Do I want my M to work out? Yes.
Will my M ever be the same as it was? No. I hope it's better than it was!
Do I love the essential man that I married and I know who is still under there? Yes.
Do I want to give my M and the restoration of my family a chance. Yes.

That's why I'm here. That's why you're here posting is it not?