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Navy,
Listen to the wisdom being put out here. This visit should be about your children. You and your W may not make it, but your kids will ALWAYS love you no matter what. They will never fall out of love with you or find another man to be there father. Go, wrap yourself in their love. Let their good vibes guide you while you are there. I think you will find that you will pull through and your W will see a new man she hasn't seen before.

Please keep us posted.

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD


Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...
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Navyguy Offline OP
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Trip has been good so far. Been having a great time with the kids and no R talk at all. Hardest part so far is D5 has been telling me she loves me or she missed me or that I'm the best dad ever about every 10 minutes. Makes me feel like she thinks I don't love her and that she thinks she did something wrong. Really breaking my heart.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
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Navy, hang in there. Glad to hear that the trip is going well so far. I bet that little girl is the sweetest thing in the world. Just keep reassuring her that you love her and will always be there for her. You will do great! Keep us posted!

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD


Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 351
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Navyguy Offline OP
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I've been considering purchasing the Marriage Breakthrough video and asking the W to watch it with me while I'm here. What's everyone's thoughts on that?


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,711
Likes: 255
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Originally Posted By: Navyguy
Hardest part so far is D5 has been telling me she loves me or she missed me or that I'm the best dad ever about every 10 minutes. Makes me feel like she thinks I don't love her and that she thinks she did something wrong. Really breaking my heart.



Nah man....

That should be the BEST part...

Like I said before, its all about perspective.

She misses you man...

Wrap yourself around that, instead of what if's..

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She still wants out right? Then don't watch them with her. Only do so if she has an interest in saving the marriage.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Navyguy Offline OP
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She says she doesn't know what she wants to do. She's Still sitting on the fence between trying to save us and going.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 459
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Posts: 459
Agreed. If you try to get her to watch a video about saving a marriage right now it will appear that you are pushing your agenda over hers. She may pull farther away or become more distant. At best, I would say drop a hint about doing it and watch her reaction. If she pulls back, just let it go. Let it be a joint decision, not just your decision. If it is "your" decision it probably won't go well in her mind. JMO. Good luck!

Please just focus on getting as much quality time as you can with your kids right now. They are who you are really going to miss when you have to leave.

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD


Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...
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