I believe God has brought you to my thread to keep my stand strong. I do believe that God will let me know when it is time to move on, but honestly I do not expect that from Him. My D16 and I went to Mass tonight and it was wonderful. The more wondrous part was after Mass, so many people came up and told me they were praying for us. After we got home I got a FB message from the organist who said I looked so beautiful and she could tell the God is with me. God keeps telling me things are going to be okay!
You are in my prayers HB that your marriage will continue to be strengthened through your faithfulness to God.
Blessings to all.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
I believe God has brought you to my thread to keep my stand strong. I do believe that God will let me know when it is time to move on, but honestly I do not expect that from Him. My D16 and I went to Mass tonight and it was wonderful. The more wondrous part was after Mass, so many people came up and told me they were praying for us. After we got home I got a FB message from the organist who said I looked so beautiful and she could tell the God is with me. God keeps telling me things are going to be okay!
Hold those thoughts as time goes on; God can and may show the outcome to the LBS through their intuition or through other people.
But though He will warn you the road will be long and hard, He will not show you the exact path you must take to get to the outcome; and many things can change because of circumstances along the way.
Some for the better, some for the worse; take it all in stride, knowing God has everything in His control.
He will comfort you during the times that things won't look right, smell right, nor taste right...and He will guide you into what you need to do or say in regards to your husband when the time is right.
Follow His instruction; EVEN if it seems to go against what you've been taught all your life; His way is the way of teaching us to set boundaries; speaking the truth in love, and standing up for ourselves against others who would hurt us.
He teaches us through the trial/crisis to be good stewards of ourselves; and care for ourselves more effectively.
For now, you are on the journey to wholeness and healing; asking the Lord to show you the areas within yourself that need growth and improvement.
God doesn't show us the worst parts of ourselves to hurt us; it's to help us. He will, in turn, help us to understand HOW we must change to grow into what He means for us to be.
There are many things learned on this journey; and change is on the agenda at the moment.
It takes TIME to see, grow and change; there is no time limit on your journey..it will complete when it's supposed to.
You're going to be fine; this much I can see.
Quote:
You are in my prayers HB that your marriage will continue to be strengthened through your faithfulness to God.
I thank you for the prayers; and you are in mine, as well.
God is an integral part of my life; always has been, always will be.
When the crisis came upon us, I was, at best, settled...and God never wants us in this kind of shape. Everything that happened challenged me to become a better person; and a better servant for the Lord.
I'm STILL growing, learning and changing...none of that stopped, even though my journey completed itself in time...I'm on yet another journey; learning something else; and drawing closer to the Lord as time goes on.
I would NOT trade the time spent in the crisis for anything..it was a true attention-getter for me; and if it hadn't happened; I would not have the marriage I have now, nor would I be walking as closely with the Lord, as I do, now.
Time heals all wounds; and that is ongoing throughout the crisis...you will, in time, find acceptance, (accepting what was done) forgiveness;(forgiving the person who did it) and healing(from all of the emotional pain) in time.
Forgiveness will most likely be done in stages; it's hard to forgive the wrongs done to us; but God helps us with this.
Have a good one.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
Again, you are such a blessing to me and others. I am feeling stronger everyday in my walk with Christ and standing. I am lucky that H is not a mean and vindictive person. He is confused, whether this is MLC or WAS, satan has invaded and I know God will prevail. Have you read the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian? It is really good and it is keeping my prayers focused on what my H needs me to pray for him.
A friend is getting The Power of a Praying Husband for my H. She said she is going to give it to him, and even if he doesn't read it, she thinks it will plant a seed. She is converting to Catholicism this Easter and she wants him to come to the Mass. I told her not to expect anything from him. I told her he is so confused that he may even look at her like an alien. But, she wants to try. God Bless her!
Blessings to everyone!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Like you, I also heard a voice when I first met my H. The voice said " This person will be important in your life" .... and I thought it was for my career, cause we r in the same field! But no wonder.... against all odds he became my H.
Thats why when I pray, I always tell God that I know He gave me H, and I ask that he let me keep him, and our M, and if I did not take care of my M well....I promise to take care of it and am proceeding to do so.
I think our M's were blessed by God and this is a test, or maybe He needs to teach either us or our H's something..... and we all know that he does work in mysterious ways. Lets just pray for ourselves, each other, and each others H's.
Take care!
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Angel thanks! It is true we are so blessed by having the sound mind to hear God when he speaks. I know the Lord is teaching me many new things now and I hope H too. I fear as long as the OW is in H's life he will not learn what God is trying to teach. But, that being said, that is between H and God. I am working on my relationship with God because I know it will only enhance my M when H comes back. Oh, and he will come back because God has spoken this to me loud and clear on many occasions. Just as he has told me to be patient and all things happen in His time.
I am praying every night for all of us who are hurting and waiting for H's to come home. I am praying for restoration in all hurting marriages.
Whatever God asks of me is my guidance to work on and for me. I believe this DBing is what God has given to Michelle to impress on us.
God Bless and have a very rested night of sleep.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Angel thanks! It is true we are so blessed by having the sound mind to hear God when he speaks. I know the Lord is teaching me many new things now and I hope H too. I fear as long as the OW is in H's life he will not learn what God is trying to teach. But, that being said, that is between H and God. I am working on my relationship with God because I know it will only enhance my M when H comes back. Oh, and he will come back because God has spoken this to me loud and clear on many occasions. Just as he has told me to be patient and all things happen in His time.
Never discount the power of God..He can deal with wayward husbands/MLC'ers in a way we cannot.
I have always known God will not cut through confusion; BUT, I had seen many things happen with my husband; that had made me question the Lord at times.
At that time; He told me NOT to ask questions; just allow Him to work in the situation; and within my husband.
His answer came through much later and was put to me this way many years ago; since God's Will comes first; He will do whatever it takes to keep His Will intact.
His thoughts and ways; don't match what we think about things; and so God works in mysterious ways.
So don't worry that OW is interfering with God; she can't do that; as God is powerful force to be reckoned with.
Let God continue His work in you, and when the time comes that your husband returns to you, as God HAS told you...you will then have the strength to deal with him as God instructs you to.
The only thing He hasn't told you is how long this it will take, before he returns.
Understand that God's time and our time is NOT the same; and so you'll have adequate time to strengthen, change and grow yourself up into what He has meant for you to be.
Making sure YOU are ready is important; and this where your changes come in..regardless of Him showing you that he will return to you..you must also do YOUR part in this.
When we do our part, God will do his; but if we don't, He will lengthen the time out, until we do.
I've seen this before; we have the tendency to sometimes "tie" the Lord's hands, because we fail to do what is required of us first.
When we grow, change and become...and things still don't come forward, just yet; it is because it is not time..going back to God's time and ours not being the same.
Yet, there are parts of our journey not taken until we start dealing with the MLC'er in earnest.
If they don't return; then the journey takes a different kind of turn; teaching you to survive on your own; God does, indeed, take care of His own.
There were some things; several aspects of boundary setting, that I didn't learn until I started dealing with my husband later in the crisis; and I learned many lessons that would NOT have been learned had he moved out, entirely.
These for you, will be learned once he returns to you; and they are unique to your particular situation..but you will know as they come up to be seen/learned.
But, for now, you'll need to continue letting go of your husband; and continuing the ongoing work on yourself.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
Hello everyone, I just thought I would update a bit. I don't have anything major to post just wanted to tell you how the week has gone. H and I texted a couple of days. He's still in MLC land, but thankfully he is never mean or nasty to me. Thursday night God worked a mini miracle. At the last minute my D16 wanted to go to a parent/teen presentation at our church. Since it was a parent thing, I texted H and asked if he wanted to come. He said yes. Everything the presenter stated were words straight from God and to my H ears. It was amazing and I was so joyous after the presentation with God in my heart. Granted, I have no idea how this affected H, but I feel God is working on him. That too me is a good thing. Again, my in-laws suggested that Cliff stay here at the house so he is staying here this weekend again, but I am thankful for his time with D16. Last night we went to the bball game to watch D16 dance. We had so much fun with lots of laughs. Today they are spending the day working at the high school on sets. My D16 is performing in the spring musical "Footloose" and I am praying that they have fun together and it will help loosen my D16's heart to put her anger for H behind her.
Anywhoo we are going to church together as a family tonight and watching some movies. Again, I feel every time H walks into the church God is working on him. MLC or not, OW and all that entails, I feel God can heal whether this takes months or years. I am continuing to walk with God.
I am hoping you all have a blessed weekend!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Let me share something with you. God really listens to us and helps alleviate our suffering.
H is out of town for work, and he will be back later. Lately he barely calls when he travels, usually only oce before he sleeps. For some reason, when I woke up this morning, I was as usual praying that everything will be OK, that H will find his love for me again. Then I got to thinking of how God wants us to ask for what we want in our prayers, and to be more specific. So I asked that He put me in H's thoughts. Somehow, it entered my mind that H will think of me and call me, but I removed the thought in my mind, thinking that I should not test too much so I don't get disappointed if he doesn't.
Lo and behold, phone rings 30 minutes later. It was H!Reminding me what time he will get home later, and that he will call from the airport and I should be dressed by then as we are going out to a school fundraising event later.
We actually already talked about it last night so there was no need for him to call, really.
After I put down the phone I realized my prayers for today were answered.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
For some reason, when I woke up this morning, I was as usual praying that everything will be OK, that H will find his love for me again. Then I got to thinking of how God wants us to ask for what we want in our prayers, and to be more specific. So I asked that He put me in H's thoughts. Somehow, it entered my mind that H will think of me and call me, but I removed the thought in my mind, thinking that I should not test too much so I don't get disappointed if he doesn't.
Lo and behold, phone rings 30 minutes later. It was H!Reminding me what time he will get home later
It is so amazing how God puts things into our minds. He was telling you what you needed to pray for and even though you doubted it a little bit, God was faithful.
I already pray thanksgiving to God for restoring my marriage, because I know that he will one day in His time. God is so good like that!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
