First thing you need to do is to calm down. You have to start thinking and stop reacting.
As had as it is for you right now, you need to stop wondering or thinking what he's doing. If he is seeing OW or not, you need to be able to communicate with him in a calm manner. If you think you can't do that, leave the room.
Next, stop having sex with him if you don't like how you feel after.
You mentioned that you had issues with alcohol. Well think of it this way, right now he's your fix. When he says things are okay, you throw yourself behind the weight of his words. But when you find out he says something that's untrue, you go off the handle. His natural reaction is to just want peace.
What can you do to start communicating better with him? Face the truth that he may be seeing OW and go from there.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
