Is it possible, that part of your problem is that you are afraid that you feel you pushed your W into ending the A?
And because YOU feel it wasn't her choice that you are less able to trust her?
Listen, my H, had more than one OW. I snooped. I know how hard it is to stop. You simply have to require more of yourself.
You justify invading her privacy by saying where would you be now if you hadn't read her emails.
These things, have a way of coming out, if there is anything that needs to come out, without us snooping.
You are watching her like a warden. THAT is not going to reconcile anything regardless of what she decides.
I am not saying that she should not be open with you. She should. She isn't ready for that yet. She has told you that she isn't ready to "recommit" to anything yet.
You are steps ahead of her in this process right now.
Rebuild the friendship first, don't continue to tear it down.
Just my opinion.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
