Oh boy. I know you are in A LOT of pain. I'm so sorry for that. Please hang in there with us. There are a lot of people here who can help. MrBond is a veteran and is AWESOME. So everything he said.
Plus, no more articles. Do not send him ANYTHING like that anymore. Do not let him know about this site. Do not let him know about the book.
Do not tell him that you are not going to see anyone. Do not let him know any of your plans.
Be very friendly and always smiling when you speak (even if it's on the phone). Detach lovingly. It took me a little while to get this. I needed to learn how to detach without being b&tchy about it. I got detach down, but b&tchy took a little work
It's time to be strong and do for yourself as much as humanly possible.
Most important, YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY NO MATTER WHAT. Take care of yourself!!!
yes, you are going to be great i empathize completely my husband packed little by little and left and i am still in shock but it will get better treat yourself well, you deserve it
Thank you. I will try to change name. I am hopeful today. He spent the evening with me and we ended up making love. However, as soon as we were done, he started to run out the door. I called him on that behavior and said that I was not just a recepticle..I was a person with feelings and that it was NOT ok to treat me that way. We fought a bit, but kept things fairly civil and that progressed into a long talk. He ran some errands and came back and hung out with me most of the evening. Less talking..lots of cuddling. I told him could leave or stay..his choice. No pressure. He chose to leave, I did not protest. He said he still needs space and NEEDS to know that I can begin to trust him again...and that he loves me and wants it to work out. I am hopeful, and am going to keep working on me.
Worse than ever....He came over Thursday night and was acting weird. He was on his computer deleting stuff, accused me of screwing it up and getting him viruses...I have my own computer..the ow from past does not have one and she mysteriously had access to one from the first night he did not come home recently until the day before he tried to come home..she was logged into pandora internet radio playing tunes ...and has not been on since I told him I saw her online and accused him of letting her use his computer..I asked him if he had talked to room mate about possible rental situation and he said yeah, I asked when he was moving in with guy..he said I guess the next time you kick me out of here..I said I didn't kick you out, you left. He said I was joking. We took a ride to post office, but halfway there he said his truck was running weird and we needed to go back to house ...am wondering if he thought cell phone bill would be there and didn't want me to see it..anyway...I kept quiet...we got back home and I told him I was going to bed...I was tired and had to work next day...he kept fooling around with computer..then accused me again of screwing it up and said he had had to reformat it..good way to delete others use...and also said a mystery guest account had appeared and his NOrton was all screwed up...wth? I have my own laptop and never really use his and last time I did it was working fine....I went to bed, knowing I was going to blow...he came up a few later and said..are we ok babe? I said I was tired and just needed to sleep..I was trying not to lose it...he asked again and left..before I could answer...I went downstairs to get a smoke and looked at him on computer and went off...I told him I didn't believe a word that came out of his mouth..that I believed he was with OW again and she was using his computer...she screwed it up and he was blaming me...I told him he lied..and brought up past hurts...then I said sleep on the couch if your truck is not right and look at it in the morning...but I need sleep...and I can't do this...he said neither could he...I said then let me see your cell phone..he said it's in the truck...he went out to truck started it and left...next day says it's over again as I do not trust him.....NO I DON"T...and I can't fake that if he pushes me...what do I do???? He saw a friend of mine at store and told her he has nothing to do with OW and hasn't in a year..he says it is me contacting OW...NOT TRUE...the only contact I have had is to tell her she ruined things for him and me on Pandora by leaving comments...after seeing her online coincidentally each of the days he was gone recently...My girlfriend said he looked really sad and looked like he was going to cry and said he could not do this anymore as he could not get it through my head that he has nothing to do with her anymore...gal pal said it looked to her like it was over...and also that he said he was not going to come to my house when I was not home, nor bother me anymore...
First thing you need to do is to calm down. You have to start thinking and stop reacting.
As had as it is for you right now, you need to stop wondering or thinking what he's doing. If he is seeing OW or not, you need to be able to communicate with him in a calm manner. If you think you can't do that, leave the room.
Next, stop having sex with him if you don't like how you feel after.
You mentioned that you had issues with alcohol. Well think of it this way, right now he's your fix. When he says things are okay, you throw yourself behind the weight of his words. But when you find out he says something that's untrue, you go off the handle. His natural reaction is to just want peace.
What can you do to start communicating better with him? Face the truth that he may be seeing OW and go from there.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
He has been here two days now. I got my book in the mail. He has slept a great portion of that two days. He has not tried to initiate sex. He is broke, waiting for a check so he can buy plane ticket to work. He flies to one city and then is flown from there for free to work. This is true. Is he here because he has nowhere else to go and nothing else to do as he is broke? I don't know. It is so hard. I am keeping my mouth shut, but it is hard. I want to scream at him. I looked in his phone shortly after he got here when he was sleeping and there was a Dawn in there that was not there before...then she was deleted the next day. His old drug buddy Candace is back in the phone...she supposedly has a man and does have a new baby, but is a druggie. Good Lord, I don't know what to do...is it worth it? Can I believe he will ever stay clean? I think he did for a long while, with me...but sleeping is a sign of meth withdrawal and he is sleeping a lot...what to do???? He has to go to work for two weeks on Thursday morning..I guess I will just try to be nice til then and see how it goes, but I AM not liking this. I hate it when he's gone...and am starting to hate it when he's here...
