I have a friend who had a live in for 2 years and she threatened to kill him if he wouldn't leave! That worked.
This, is NOT the best option LOL.
I won't kid you, having a live in is hard. Personally, I think it is harder than if they leave (although I didn't think so when H was threatening to leave). They are in your face every day, whether you like it or not.
Like Brooklyn, I too tried to be the "good girl" at first.
That just does not work. It doesn't change them and makes you crazy.
Living for yourself, makes it easier. It brings peace most days.
Mine, still shares the house (although it is on a very part time basis). Not because I am looking to restore my M, I am no longer doing that. It is because I am the one who is going to be moving to another part of the country. I always knew that if my M did not work out, that I would relocate. (We are in the second crisis, so some things, I had already answered for myself during the first crisis.) I ended up in Florida by the choice of my mother, and remained here because I met my H. My son, is almost grown and ready to be on his own and I did not want to disrupt his life in that way. It took everything that I learned here and through my own journey that gives me the ability and strength, to continue to maintain a peaceful and happy home for my son. It takes detatchment, forgivness, more detatchment, recognizing what is MLC and what is not, patience, kindness, and space. We have a coparenting relationship, basically, our child and things related to the house, are what we speak of. We do not interfere in each others personal lives and don't ask questions. A few years ago, I would not have had the emotional stamina to do this.
Take your journey, find your peace, and find what works for you in your situation. People might not understand, but it is not for others to understand or approve of.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
