I too was wondering where you went. OK. Bud time for some tough love.
The sitch has not changed because things have been done the same. As I read your post I see it, if I may with my inexperience and also lack of a functioning M point out some very obvious comments that lead me to this conclusion.
I spend so much time by myself these days, I am practically numb to my whole sitch. I sit here in limbo every day after dropping my kids off at school
I understand the job situation in 08' I lost my business after the market crashed I was practically unemployed for 9 months and was not even able to collect so for 9 months I had 0 income. Luckily for us W worked at a huge investment firm on Wall Street and we made it. However that did not take away my feeling worthlessness and my W really getting pissed off at me cause she felt like she was carrying the entire load. I never really got that because when she got laid off at the end of 08' she spend 11 months without an income and I never complained once. Actually I enjoyed it cause we could do things without having to take time off from work. She was always available, anyways that is for another post. So I get it. Until you find work that feeling will not change, but as I look back on it there are some things I could of done to lift my spirits that did not require money. This is something you need to start doing because one of the biggest things I see working against you is your own demons of not working. GAL!!! Just make sure its not expensive.
I have accomplished absolutely nothing with regards to my M
What have you done different?
but would there be any words or acts of appreciation for me doing this for her?
Think about this statement for a second.........Why would she? Should she. Of course, but in my opinion a lot of these WAS should be doing a lot of things they are not doing. This is a classic example of doing something and expecting something. If you are going to cook and really don't mind doing it then really don''t mind if she comes down and eats it without saying anything. Take a look at 1step threads. The guy does his own thing no pressure no nothing. The result is his W is in constant turmoil over her decision.
I know in your case the job situation is the major stressor but that will change in time. On the meantime work on what you can control and at this point it is only your demeanor when around W. If you wake up tomorrow and act as if life is great she will raise an eye brow. I have a friend who is a female and this girl is absolutely infectious with her good vibes. I enjoy being around her just because she is so fun to be around with. People who are really happy are very hard to reject especially if you've been down this whole time. Try laughing watch a funny movie go running do something. Don't sit in front of your PC all day an wallow in your misery because you are not helping yourself or your situation.
Easier said than done, tell me about it but when you are on the outside looking in sometimes you see things a little more clearly. Try it for a week and see what happens. I mean really try and be happy for 1 week, you've got nothing to lose nothing has changed in how many months?
