Islander,
Guilt is a very, very heavy burden to bare. She brought it on herself, so let her carry it. Don't do anything that would relieve her of that right now. She asked for it, let it crush her. You don't owe her anything right now...

Congrats on going dark. It will get easier, I promise. I actually went dark for six weeks. It was hard at times, but it gets easier. Keep up the good work. Your efforts will pay off. Just keep coming here for support when you feel like you are going to crack. We are here for you!

FOBD

Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...