"You sound much different now ,than the person I have read for the past 3 years here. Much angrier, less forgiving, less willing to DO WORK....."
Go back and read my first posts. I am not angry. I am not less forgiving.
I am less willing to "Do Work".
I have every reason to feel that way. I am entitled to feel that way.
"How things looked then, compared to this time.
I am also wondering if all of the other stuff....work around the house, etc., wasn't just a distraction to the work that could have happened then.
And that the building of things, overtook the building of the relationship...."
I have a lot less FG in me this time around. Mostly because I don't think I should be "here" again. I feel like I have always picked up the pieces. Put things back together.
My mom was telling me tonight that I need to change.. but that at some point has to apply to the other person.
My wife said we needed "help".. but here I am.. 6 months later making that happen. Why does it become my job to make sure she follows thru?
I guess the big issue for me has been the "Work" around the house.. was my understanding of what would improve things. But it was not. She can live in a trailer and be happy.. or so I have heard. When I understood that what I was doing was not "helping" I gave up. Gave her control.
At the end of the day.. my needs are simple. Everyone here can understand that I need to "get some". So can she.. I am using her words. Her needs are robust.. and ever changing. I am listening but I am just not sure how to "be" that.
What I have been doing.. has not worked. I am looking for options.
We at this point.. have no R.
Because I don't spend time with the kids. Because I am unreliable. Because I am not meeting her needs. Because I drink too much. Because I like sex. Because I like porn.
Forrest is out of ideas.
And tired.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
